Half-full

(in the tune of I will Survive)

First I was afraid
I was petrified
When I saw falling hair in my hand,
and by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how I should go on
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so I’m back from outer space
I just walked in even if black spots
are in my hand, my feet and my face
…

I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive...

Sensya na, yan lang ang nakayanan ng powers ko na palitan sa kanta…hehehe…basta yan ang una kong naisip kantahin nung nakita ko na naghuhulugan na yung pretty hair ko…buti na lang naparebond ako kundi isa akong bruha on the loose…

Speaking of rebond, thank you sa aking suking parlorista hehehe (hindi ko na babanggitin kung saan at baka mabasa nina ma’am at sir) …regular ako pa-ahit ng eye brows (syempre hindi ako marunong at since 40 petot lang sila na mag ayos ng super kapal kong kilay) ewan ba nung nagsabog ang Lord ng buhok, ako lang ata ang gising hehehe….pinilit nila ako ipaayos ko na daw ang buhok kong ayaw magpapigil sa pag alagwa kahit sandamakmak na pony ang gamitin ko, partida nagparebond na ako nyan nung January 2007…eh since tamad talaga ako hindi ko inaalagaan yan, ayun balik s adating monster hair :) … eh since wala ako budget for that (problematic nga ako sa ipanggagamot ko ano?!) eh naikwento ko ang dahilan kumbakit…ayun naawa siguro sa akin…sinabihan ako na punta ako certain date na wala sina ma’am at sir…sila na bahala sa akin…yun lang daw ang maitutulong nila since hindi naman malaki ang sahod nila…kumbaga labor of love… at least daw maganda ang hair ko kahit na walang liguan habang nasa hospital ako hahaha :) bahala na daw yung mga ibang clients na kayang magbayad..hahaha..guilty ako pero sympre Go ako :) hindi lang naming anticipate na mag huhulugan sya!

Buti na lang talaga kundi naku! Ewan ko kung paano ako magsurvive ng hindi nagsusuklay...ayoko ng suklayin kasi dami dami natatangal..pinapatuyo ko na lang electric fan kapag me time...kapag wala sa fx na lang tutal trapik naman hahaha....

Pumapasok na kasi ulit ako ng opis...Next session ko kasi sa feb 1, 6th session ko na! Yehey! Nakahalf na ako… so due for evaluation ako after this session. Supposed to be eh ngayon Jan 28 ang session ko eh wala pa si dra tsaka sakto medyo kulang budget hehehe…baka kapusin based sa last sessions…

Masyadong magastos yung last 3 sessions ko, pansin ninyo? Ewan ba naman kasi wala daw murang rooms fully booked daw…grabe pati hospital fully booked kapag magpasko...akala ko hotels lang..ayun napunta kami sa mas mahal na room…tapos ayaw pa ng hospital na magdala ng own kumot at unan, ayun additional bayad eh ang lamig sa room at kawawa naman bantay ko kung walang magamit :( tapos dami kong medications at paulit ulit na lab tests…(remember nung nagka infection ako) bukod sa chemo drugs dami ko ding take na medications supplements… Needed yun for me to go on sa chemo tapos malabanan din mga side effects…kasi di ba sabi kahit na pinapatay ng chemo mga cancer cells at same time napapatay din mga healthy ones…So far okay naman nakakarecover ang katawan ko…

Eto yung mga supplements na tinetake ko, in case merong makabasa na same ang situation…hope this helps :

Goji Juice – have you heard of this one? Its from goji berries daw na patterned sa recipes at practices ng Himalayan people. Masarap sya compare sa Lactovitalle. Feeling ko nung simula nagtake ako nito gumana ako kumain. One of the side effects kasi ng chemo ko parang papel ang lasa ng lahat ng food sa akin. Pero nung uminom ako nito nakakain ako ng maayos which is good dahil kailangan kong kumain ng kumain. 52 Kgs na lang ako as of last timbang ko nung jan 25. tapos parang ang lakas ko unlike nung 1st session ko lantang gulay ako…di ba nga nung dec 24 super girl ako mega luto at after nun mega lakwatsa hahaha…(lakwatsera ba?!) Iniinom ko ito (mga 1 oz) 30 minutes before meal para effective absorption.

CMD - Concentrated Minerals. Hinahalo ko sa mga iniinom ko…

Glutathione – This is an anti-oxidant. Nagmanifest yung chemo drugs sa mga kamay ko, paa at face. Kaya pala napansin ko halos yung mga sunod sunod na nagchechemo magkakamukha na sila…nakawig at maiitim ang face at hands… minsan nga nalilito ako kapag pinapakilala kasi nga magkakamukha na…Minsan nga nasabihan akong maghugas ng kamay kasi akala puro grasa ang kamay ko waaahhhhh!!!! Ang itim kasi tapos parang naglalangis pa…para ngang taong grasa ano ba?! Well simula nung gumamit ako nito 1 month ago medyo nabawasan yung mga maiitim kong fingers at face…hopefully the healthy cells are generated.

Compare sa time na bago ako mag pachemo…Now nakakatulog na ako ng maayos, dati kasi im in pain talaga tabingi na nga daw ako kasi yung back ko super sakit at kirot…dinadaan na lang sa dolfenal at masahe…tapos dati konting lakad lang, hingal na…konting salita lang hingal at putol putol na…I’m better now compare nung october..so nararamdaman kong the chemo drugs are working…so let’s hope and pray na nagliitan na yang mga nodules na yan kundi man natunaw na ng lubusan…

So far nga pala ito yung financial status as of January 29:



So thank you po sa inyong lahat! Words are not enough to express how thankful we are...Indeed God make ways, we just have to trust Him, do our best, and leave everything to Him...

We can do this...we will survive!!!

Good days, Better days!

Hello world!

It’s been a month and a half since my last blog…So sorry po, lots has happened and I’m always low on the go! (read: sleeping, bumming around, watching TV, seeing friends)…

Anyweiz today, my 5th chemo session (1st session of 3rd cycle!) will push through na! Hay thank God my infection was cured and it reflected in the lab tests I’ve undergone yesterday :) Thank you very much for all the support that you’ve extended our way since I’ve lots of additional medications and lab tests…

December was a busy month, I felt super strong ako…after my 3rd session I went to see my good friend Tess from Canada on her birthday…Last time I saw her was before college graduation …. Geez..she looks better now and what a cute daughter she has! Despite of what she is undergoing right now, she manages to extend her help…thank you very much Tess….I'm not sure if she manages to contact our other classmates as well... Bambi from Canada is here also I dont know kung nagkita na sila....Thank you Bambi for the extended help :) Muah!

Then that weekend we went to Gloria’s daughter’s dedication and 1st birthday….Commute lang kami to Malolos Bulacan! Eh syempre instructions ni Glo eh pang commute lang…hehehe…. We had a great fun there since we saw another collegemate Joyce..Mansion ang house niya! and the location is so ideal for my condition, kasi walang pollution…kaso Malolos?! Geez…sobrang layo nun! Malamang lagi akong half day kapag pumapasok na ako sa office…hehehe…Tin Balintong and her son were there too…Pati si Ronnie and Lema and Ron Michael…wala atang jet lag yung pamilyang yun… :)

Before my session, i've met up with some of my closest and dearest friends...yvette, marge, lanie and fel.... dinner and tambay...late na kasi me pasok pa sila so we call it off mga ten pm...we missed the others since hindi sila avail :(

Then Dec 21 it’s time for another session…Ayoko ngang Dec 22 kasi Christmas Eve na malamang kami makarating ng bahay ... Ewan ba I felt so strong kaya ako ang nagluto sa amin…..Then Christmas Day we went to Antipolo sa aking mga Auntie…Ayos naman…I’ve never felt yung need to lay down..Maybe It’s because of Jesus’s birthday…He likes na I will join the usual festivities….

Then Dec 26 bonding with my hubby….Mall mall lang . Then Dec 28 bonding kami ng mommy ko at mga pamangkin ko (Geco, Gerome,Maia)…Atat na sila sa mall…pasyal pasyal lang…Then Dec 29-30 bonding with my college barkada in Tagaytay!

Super enjoy kami swimming (ngatog!) luto luto…kwentuhan…catching up with our lives..ang lalaki na ng mga kids ng mga friends ko! kahit na me bouts ako ng hilo sakit ulo at throwing up go pa din sa charade..hehehe….Nexy Day we went to Palace in the sky ..Good thing we have a heavy breakfast…Thank you Grace sa masarap na sinangag! At yung mga dalang food nina Marge..the best! Hehehe…Marie salamat din sa kfc at mga pinamili ninyo…at Ronnie! Salamat sa lunch yum yum!

Small world!, We met sir harry (former boss of Richard,ramil and aldo) in Dencio’s Tagaytay..dalaga at binata na mga anak nila…

Then my mom’s bday came Dec 31. Traditionally si ate nagprepare food ako tiga mando lang….eh something sad happen. Namatay yung byenan nya na since before Christmas eh nasa hospital na….so ako syempre hindi ko matiis na dadaan ang new year without celebrating the good past year and looking forward for a better year..and syempre need din nina ate ang food at yung mga bata…kaya ako feeling super girl …. Ayun Jan 1, ubo ubo at sipon na…..Time for my chemo jan4, bagsak lahat ng labtests :( Then nilagnat na ako…Monday bagsak pa din so conclusion : infection..

Kaya I was advised to stay at home, take the medications para magamot yung infection and hopefully mawala na ang lagnat lagnat…eto Sunday nagpalabtest kami..and this morning lumabas tests…I am okay! Good to go for another bout of chemo….

There are some implications in my new schedule…ubos na mga leaves ko…so malamang sa end of January ..wala na ako sahurin hahaha….well, important naman e gumaling na ako and I’m sure there are better things store for me :)

Wishing nga kami na sana magkaroon kami ng ibang matuluyan…yung tipong walang pollution….kasi at present yung house naming slum area kung titignan….good thing that sa likod bahay yung tanaw ng mini terrace ko e bukid….ewan ko lang if in the next months meron pa akong matanaw at malanghap na sariwang hangin…kasi daw magiging c-6 na yun tapat naming plus yung Camella prestige ata ginagwa na :) well bahala na si Lord..malay ninyo bukas manalo ako sa lotto… ooopsss di pala kami tumataya! Hehehe

O siya I’m off to the hospital again…its one of my good days…good kasi I know those darn nodules will be melted away by the chemo drugs..after that better days since I will be returning to my old routine :)

Anyways, sa mga lahat ng mga tumutulong, maraming salamat sa inyo!
Thanks Lord for these people who touches my life...

Ciao!